20231113

The full title is "20231113 Anyway,everything would still be discarded into the blender in the very end of my existence".

The week of making that image was not too tough but I still don't want to see the quality of fractal images to get worse. I was asked to have a conversation with someone who talked to me multiple times earlier without knowing what the conversation was about. Knowing that it would certainly be a painful experience by instinct,I had that conversation to start as early as possible. So that person told me that there's some requests of submitting my fractal artwork at first,then she started the distorted topic about her experience and aspect, making my instinct got much more impure.

Although my instinct should cherish these relatively safe days, the function of cherishing was even removed by the strange interactions and the general situation of being different from anyone's common sense. So for such a broken instinct inside my empty mesh,the only thing to do is only waiting for the moment of finally choosing to end all these unnatural healthiness. I would still be drooling if I saw something delicious on my phone and holiday away from these scary things is still craved when the instinct isn't totally occupied by fear.

I am not able to tell and it's meaningless to judge whether my current time is worse or better than the past. There would be more chance for me to make my fractal art skill known by more people while any interactions with anyone else would already make my instinct more broken and tired.